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Facing the truth; In-person communication, video conferencing better relationship builders than e-mail

By Kristi Elliott, Source: Tribune Media Services

Valentine's Day might be the day you tell your sweetie that she’s never looked more beautiful, that you’ve never seen a more beautiful bouquet of flowers, that you really don’t even care about Valentine’s Day, anyway ... but lying in a business relationship has more potential to cause eye-rolling than tummy flutters.

And, odds are, if your workplace communication relies on e-mail, the lies may be coming more fast and furious than your excuses for forgetting to buy your honey a box of chocolates.

Research by Liuba Belkin, anassistant professor of management at Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pa., shows that team members are more likely to lie over e-mail than in traditional pen-and-paper communication.

The naked truth is, to build trust and maintain strong business connections in an increasingly digital world, you may have to step away from the computer.

Truth be told

David Levin, author of, “Don’t Just Talk, Be Heard!” (Minneapolis Press; $19.95), recommends matching the intensity of the message you’re trying to get across to the medium you use for communication in order to assure the true impact of the message is relayed.

“E-mail is technically possible for a high-emotion message, but very risky,” he says. “You must take the time — and have the skills — to clearly convey the appropriate emotions in your written words. Unfortunately, most people have neither. If it’s a big deal, have the conversation in person if at all possible.”

Levin says a phone conversation with a client or co-worker with whom you already have an established relationship with is probably OK for a somewhat intense business discussion. Video chat, he says, is a distant second to face-to-face communication for very important topics.

Sheila Marcelo, founder and CEO of Care.com, reminds that, no matter the channel for communication, the truth counts.

“The so-called ‘old rules’ of business still apply no matter what medium you’re using to communicate,” she said. “You still have to be open and honest if you’re not talking face-to-face. In fact, you probably have to be even more open, since the person you’re talking to may not have all the details or information that you do.”

Fledging relationship

The amount and quality of messages sent out in a working relationship is as important as the channel of communication.

“Make exceptional customer service the hallmark of your business,” says T.C. Coleman, owner of Upward Action, a branding and new media agency with offices in New York City and New Jersey. “Develop a system to plan and track every client experience with your business, including first contact by phone or via the Internet; the intake process; responsiveness for ongoing matters; and follow-up after a matter has closed.”

Coleman says it should be office policy to choose a time reasonable for your company to respond to ongoing issues.

Marcelo agrees that being mindful of the time it takes you to respond to communications can go a long way toward establishing trust in a business relationship.

“You have to cover deadlines and action items clearly to make sure everyone is on the same page,” she says. “And if those are your deadlines—meet them. Doing your share and being a good team player helps build trust and reliability between co-workers and customers no matter what amount of physical distance separates you.”

Offering access to webinars or teleseminars is another way to ensure clients and long-distance co-workers can feel connected and cared about by your company. Coleman also suggests sending out a quarterly white paper or printed newsletter to your mailing list to keep traditional lines of communication open.

New great Web communicator

While a snail mail letter or printed newsletter may have more of a formal impact on client relations than e-mail, the print medium cannot convey emotion as much as gestures, facial expression and vocal inflections. This is why face-to-face communication is so highly recommended for important or sensitive matters.

But most experts say if in-person meetings are not possible, video conferencing is the next best thing.

“Video conferencing affords meeting attendees the opportunity to not only hear the words and see people’s faces but read their body language,” says Dennis Reina, co-author of “Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace: Building Effective Relationships in Your Organization” (Berrett-Koehler; $19.95). “Research shows that body language contributes to 55 percent of the effectiveness of communication, with tone of voice 38 percent and words only 7 percent.

“With the use of video conferencing made more readily accessible with such services as Skype, meeting participants can easily read body language of fellow team members or clients and more accurately interpret the not only the message but the intention of the message being conveyed.”

Marcelo says she uses video conferencing when meeting new potential partners or clients.

“ When you are getting to know someone, it builds rapport to see their facial expressions and pick up on visual clues the same as you would if you met in-person.”

Let’s face it

Still, there are times when there is just no excuse for substitution, and in-person meetings are the only way to go. Marcelo says times when it’s crucial to meet face to face include:

-When there’s been a communication breakdown that you want to avoid in the future.

-Annual or quarterly performance reviews.

-Complicated or potentially stressful conversations with team members or customers.

-Discussing your future career path and plans.

-Company events. “It’s important, when possible, for employees to participate in company functions, especially in smaller companies or divisions,” Marcelo says. “I find it really helps team-building and improves the corporate culture.”

— Kristi Elliott, Tribune Media Services