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Our Time: Lots of talk about death for boomers

By Jane Glenn Haas, The Orange County Register, Source: MCT News Service

Death. Overnight it's getting more press than sex among the 50-plus crowd.

"There's a hunger to have these conversations about death, maybe because death is so hidden away and even shameful in our culture," says Zoe FitzGerald Carter, author of "Imperfect Endings," in a Salon.com interview.

"There are 75 million baby boomers and many have parents who are getting sick or old," she adds.

Her book is about her mother's determination to end her life and how her daughters cope with that decision.

Other new books _ the novel "So Much for That" by Lionel Shriver is one _ deal with the pressure of health care costs on retirees, issues surrounding assisted suicide, even near-death experiences.

Ah, near-death.

I recently wrote about a book, "Passings: Death, Dying and Unexplained Phenomena" by Carole A. Travis-Henikoff, that generated a lively batch of e-mails on end-of-life.

Several people shared their "near-death" experiences with me.

All of them saw "the light" and talked to people on "the other side." All of them are satisfied that death is simply, as Brenda H. from Fort Worth, Texas, said, "a passing-over to a better existence."

"You have got to put death in the right perspective," says William W. of Santa Barbara, Calif. "Death is a fact of life. Death is something we will all experience. Death is a good thing.

"If we didn't die, there would be too many people in the world."

Well, duh.

Joyce L. from Arizona assured me that "everyone in your family will see a lightning rod when you die." A shaft of light, she says.

"If you don't see that light when someone dies, they were not good people."

Oh boy. I've never seen that light, and I've lost a son, two husbands, parents and friends.

They are, according to Joyce, all "doomed to an eternity in darkness."

Not wishing to send my loved ones to darkness _ or to acknowledge they were less than perfect people _ I think I'll lie about "seeing the light" from now on. Of course, lying is a sin and if I do that, will anyone see the light when I die?

What a conundrum.

Henry O. from Anaheim, Calif., tells me that he is ready "to embrace death" and his only regret is leaving his wife behind. "I wish I could take her with me," he says.

Take her with you? What do you mean by that, Henry? I think it's better if you leave the living alive. Who else will mourn you?

Aging boomers fascinated with death. Still determined to have sex, with the help of some ED medication.

I'm creating a mental picture. And I don't like what I'm seeing.

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(Jane Glenn Haas writes for The Orange County (Calif.) Register. E-mail her at jghaas@cox.net)

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(c) 2010, The Orange County Register (Santa Ana, Calif.).

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