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Solve anything with Dr. Mark: Career advice for the working class; Making things right

By Dr. Mark Goulston, Source: Tribune Media Services

Q: I goofed on an order, and I'm afraid to tell the client. How can I save face — and the account?

A: People will forgive an honest mistake, but they won't forgive you if you lie. To pull this situation out of the toilet, use the 4 R's:

1. Remorse - Quickly own up to your mistake and say you're sorry without excuses or blaming others. Your client needs to see and feel that it matters to you that you screwed up at their expense.

2. Restitution - Offer something in return for your client's inconvenience. Your mistake probably created a problem for them, so they'll want you to do something that balances it out. Whether they say it or not, everybody keeps score and you owe them.

3. Rehabilitation - Figure out a solution so this mistake does not reoccur.

Make certain that your new way of dealing with the area you goofed in makes sense, feels right, and is doable. Tell your plan to your client to help him overcome his hesitation to trust you again. Then whatever you do, don't make the same goof with this client again.

4. Request a second chance – Tell your client that you would like a second chance to prove to them that they will be glad they stayed with you. If you're humble and honest, most people want to forgive. But just like you have to remember to ask for the sale, you have to remember to ask for your second chance.

Out of work and out of my mind

Q: I am between jobs and my imagination is getting the best of me. I'm becoming a nervous wreck. What can I do during my down time to help me stay upbeat and increase my desirability to a future employer?

A: I tell almost everyone I know in the job market to continuously work on their written and spoken communication skills. The more articulate you are, the more you are respected. The less articulate you are, the less people respect you. With regard to writing, the more you write and the more you look at how others write, the better you will become. As for speaking, I suggest you check out http://toastmasters.org and find a club near your zip code. Toastmasters International is a world leader in helping people become more competent and comfortable in front of an audience with more than 220,000 members in 11,300 clubs in more than 90 countries worldwide. Not only will you learn how to be more comfortable and competent speaking to an audience, but you will feel a great lift to your confidence when you are between jobs. I view Toastmasters as one of the least expensive and most effective forms of "group therapy" available. Also, many of the meetings take place within large companies and because of the camaraderie between you and participants who may work for that company, you may find out about opportunities for employment there.

Lazy vs. lonely

Q: Recently, I haven't been motivated to make follow-up visits. It has cost me several customers already. How can I mentally prepare myself to make visits?

A: You may be unmotivated not because you're lazy or afraid but because you're lonely. Most people put off doing things that they have to do in isolation. Perhaps as a child you felt isolated or alone or lonely a fair amount of the time and that it caused you pain that you couldn't avoid. But now as an adult when you feel that same pain of aloneness, you can get away with avoiding anything that makes it worse. It may be that when you're feeling alone, the first thing you want to do is make the pain go away. The last thing you want to do is something that is burdensome that only makes you feel worse.

Most alcoholics put off getting sober until they join Alcoholics Anonymous where they get do it with a fellowship and with a sponsor. Doing something with someone else seems to lessen the pain of doing without that habit you're trying to break.

Don't make it more complicated that it has to be. Find yourself a sponsor, or a trusted friend or co-worker whom you know is trying to overcome one of their self-defeating behaviors, which may be procrastination or something else such as having a short fuse or saying yes when he wants to say no,. Commit to check in with each every week or every day if necessary and hold each other accountable.

XXXX

Mark Goulston, M.D., is a Santa Monica-based management and leadership adviser and author of "Get Out of Your Own Way at Work...and Help Others Do the Same." Visit him at: http://markgoulston.com and e-mail your questions to mgoulston@markgoulston.com.