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Solve anything with Dr. Mark: Career advice for the working class; Meat and potatoes

By Dr. Mark Goulston, Source: Tribune Media Services

Q: I am finding it more and more difficult to get pumped up to start each week. Telling myself I should be lucky and appreciative to have my job is not working any more (apologies to all those who are out of work and think I am being ungrateful). I am not alone. It seems that so many of my co-workers look like the living dead. People have told me to get some spirituality or something, but I'm kind of a meat and potatoes guy (apologies to the people who have spirituality). I don't know if you can help either, but I wrote you because your columns make me think you're a meat and potatoes guy, too.

A: I have some of the same trouble wrapping my hands around the whole spirituality in the workplace phenomenon. Fortunately, Manhattan real estate executive Rabbi Alan Lurie, author of “Five Minutes on Mondays: Finding Unexpected Peace, Purpose, and Fulfillment at Work” (FT Press, $21.99), has some ideas that might just help you (and me, if you don't mind my tagging along) out.

As you wrote, you are not alone in your perception of your job as drudgery. Many people strive for success and admiration at work and pour energy in to the promise of their careers, but somewhere along the way find that the anticipated rewards either do not materialize, or do not provide the happiness that they had hoped for, leaving them feeling stuck, trapped, bored, frustrated, drained, duped or depressed.

So, what can you do?

Lurie advises the following:

First, you need to objectively identify why you are so unhappy at your work. There can be several categorical reasons:

Your type of work: Perhaps you are in a field that you find inherently unsatisfying, or you feel called to a different type of career. Maybe you are a lawyer, yet yearn to be an artist; or you are an artist but are drawn to business; or you work at a large company but dream of being an entrepreneur.

Your work environment: Maybe you are dissatisfied with your company, and experience your boss as abusive or insensitive, or are in conflict with your co-workers, or find your corporate culture demeaning, or feel undervalued and not listened to.

Your personal situation: Are you unmotivated because the time demands of your job have hurt your relationships with your family, friends, and community, leaving you feeling exhausted, resentful, and unbalanced in your life?

Your attitude: Hovering over all these reasons is your attitude. Do you look for problems and faults, or do you see possibilities for growth? Do you view people as threats and competitors, or do you see others as fellow human beings who share the same struggles and desires as you do?”

Lurie says he suspects that one or more of these reasons applies to your situation.

“Many people I speak with tell me that their jobs are not fulfilling, but can’t identify alternatives. In those cases I recommend an exercise that you may find useful: Make three lists. On the first, write down all the things that you are naturally good at. On the second, all the things that you enjoy. And on the third, all the things that are meaningful to you. Now, look for a theme that comes up in all three lists – that’s an indicator of your true purpose.

“If your work environment is truly toxic to your mental and physical health, you ought to consider leaving. If you decide to stay, though, and determine to be satisfied at your work, you must truly commit to your job, and to the success of your peers, co-workers, and your company. Once you do this you will naturally find ways to contribute, and will suddenly discover that you are not a helpless victim, but are a crucial and valued member of an interdependent community.

“In order to feel satisfied at work, it is crucial that we live balanced lives. Plan meaningful time with your family, exercise regularly, find community activities that involve you in the needs of others and explore hobbies that allow for creative release.

“Once you implement the first three recommendations with positive intention, you will suddenly discover that your attitudes have changed. You will lighten up and have more energy. You feel more free, engaged, relaxed, optimistic and grateful because you will have discovered possibilities for your job and your life.”



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Mark Goulston is a Santa Monica-based management adviser, executive coach and author of the upcoming book, “Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.” Question him at: mgoulston@markgoulston.com.

© 2009, Tribune Media Services